Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Reality Crew speaking; As foretold by the Mayan calendar, the Universe is one year away from its final destination, where this reality will terminate.
Please prepare to vacate the Universe. Return all matter to its pre-atomic state, and place any leftover dark matter in the black holes provided. If you require any of your checkpoint procedures to be recorded as string theory equations, please collect and retain any dimensions you require beyond the third.
To exchange any remaining Time as Space you must complete the Time Return Form E=mc2. If you have not been issued with a Time Return Form, then this is an illusion caused by your limited dimensionality. Relax, and an authorized time collection agent will have been visiting you.
On behalf of our parent company, Cosmic Creations Unlimited, and our Earth Ground Crew, the Mayans, we hope you have enjoyed your stay in this reality and would choose to participate in an inexplicable and random expression of spontaneously generated space-time in what, for want of a better term, we shall call “the future”.
Confession: This text is not mine! Unknown source, found in several places on the Web with minor variations over the same theme. If anyone has any idea where it originally came from then I would appreciate to have been notified 😉