Re-Homing of Adopted Children – These Aren’t Pets, Damnit!

In this five parter, Reuters present a shocking reality for adopted children. Many adoptees, most of them from overseas, are taken in by families who either lack the skills and knowledge required to properly care for children who have already suffered severe psychological trauma, do not speak or understand the language in their new homes, and have been removed from familiar surroundings and customs, or the families consider adoption to be something akin to getting a new pet. Both are recipes for disaster, suffering and tragedy.

It’s a long read, but I consider it highly educational, if somewhat disturbing.

Reuters investigates: The Child Exchange
Inside America’s underground market for adopted children
Reuters Investigates: The Child Exchange - Inside America's underground market for adopted children

This article series describes conditions in the United States. I live in Norway, and though I don’t have an actual study to support it, my gut feeling is that the practice of re-homing adopted children does not and can not exist here, at least not at the same relative magnitude as in USA. I do however know that even here, a disturbing number of adoptions are done by people who are either not qualified, or do not have the required motivation and attitude to care for or even love a child not born into the family, more often than not with special needs and considerable emotional and psychological baggage.

2 Responses to Re-Homing of Adopted Children – These Aren’t Pets, Damnit!

  1. Marie Gibson says:

    I actually just read a story about people who just re-home their adoptive children because they can’t deal with or won’t deal with the issues the child has. The worst part is that they just seem to give them to anyone who will take them and that usually ends up with the child being psychologically, physically and sexually abused. It’s one thing if you don’t have the capabilities needed to care for an animal and you find the animal a good home with someone who can but you can’t just take a human being and just give it away to anyone because you can’t deal with the issues. You should never have adopted the child in the first place if you can’t deal accept the fact that the child might have problems you’re going to have to face. You wouldn’t do that with your own child, why the hell would you do that another person??

  2. inshadowz says:

    You and I wouldn’t. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t think like that. For them it’s about getting a child at any cost, but once cost is in the picture the child is a piece of merchandise to them, and they expect a certain something for their money’s worth. And if what they bought isn’t to their liking (such as in part three: “the 4-year-old’s feet were too big and his ears looked funny”), why hang on to it? Passing the child on to the first person who is willing to take it may seem as a good idea as any. Solves their problem.

    Even people who adopt with the very best of intentions may well find them in over their heads, if they fail to realize beforehand that there are reasons why children are up for adoption, reasons which, along with their stay in orphanages or foster care, most likely have affected them considerably, making them children with severely troubled pasts and special needs, requiring extreme determination and utmost skill to handle. Thus the adoptive parents may well end up getting in over their head, having their dream of adopting come true only to turn into a royal nightmare beyond their ability to deal with, eventually pushing them over the edge so that their only wish is to get rid of the problem, i.e. the child.

    On the other hand, if I read correctly, the system works against those who find themselves stuck with more than they can handle, in that if they ask for help with an extremely difficult child, even one that is a danger to their other kids, they may be deemed unfit to care for their other children, adopted or biological. I can understand if someone gets desperate when cornered, but still … there is no excuse for passing a child on to a complete stranger as if it was no more than a second-hand fridge.

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