“Han Gul” written in the Han Gul alphabet.

So after receiving an email from a South-Korean government worker, written in Korean, a language which I do not speak, using the Hangul alphabet, which I can not read, and having finally managed to extract something more or less sensible (and hopefully at least partially correct) from the provided Oriental squiggles through eager, relentless, unorthodox and highly creative use of Google Translate (Microsoft’s Bing translator was totally and pitifully hopeless, as usual), and finding that the attached document is both a) vitally important for the proceedings, b) also written in Korean, and of course c) not compatible with any software other than that used almost exclusively by South-Korean government workers, which is not readily available to foreigners like myself, I reply with a lengthy email written in my best, wordiest and most sophisticated and long-winded English, which I am reasonably certain that they neither speak nor read. An eye for an eye.

I call this communication in its smoothest, purest, most perfect form!

As for what’ll happen next, I can only assume that either they will put in at least a similar amount of effort in order to make sense of what I’ve written and respond accordingly, or they may show up on our doorstep in person and politely set our house on fire. Or both.

Annyeong haseyo, and kamsahamnida.
“Hello!” and “Thank you!”

PS: To my surprise, I accidentally happened to come across a website of useful Korean phrases which quite unexpectedly also translates the quite useful English phrase “My hovercraft is full of eels!” to Korean!

내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요
“Nae hoebuhkeurapeuteuneun changuhro kadeuk cha isseyo”

Now try to say that in Korean, yet make it sound like John Cleese with a Hungarian accent! 😉

Oppan bloody Gangnam Style!


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