Ok, so it’s a satirical article, but here’s what I would’ve said if it and the stuff I wrote above was intended to be serious.
Yeah, think again. The eclipse won’t happen “just because the scientists said so”, as if by magic. It will happen because that’s the way the Earth, the Moon and the Sun roll, and thus it would happen whether or not the scientists had said anything about it. After all, that’s what they did in the countless years before astronomers came along to begin to make sense of it. What the scientists do, however, is to draw from recorded observations and measurements from centuries and millennia ago, all the way up to modern time, regarding the movements of the Sun and the Moon in the sky, which provides them (and thus the collective us) with the knowledge required to calculate exactly where in the sky the Sun and the Moon will be at any given time, which in turn enables us to know of any upcoming eclipses beforehand so that we get time to prepare for the event and enjoy it the most.
I’ve personally watched several lunar eclipses, and a few solar eclipses (though regrettably, as of yet, no total ones), and even twice seen — and photographed — the silhouetted planet Venus creep across the face of the Sun, precisely at the times that those scientists had predicted. Not once has a predicted lunar or solar eclipse failed to happen — and no, overcast weather doesn’t count as the eclipse not happening, those are after all astronomical events and not meteorological ones. This isn’t magic or shamanism, it’s the use of known facts to predict future events.
Happy solar eclipsing! ☺️
Afterwords: The above linked article is satirical, but it’s rather worrying that a considerable number of others aren’t, and there are whole websites, forums and YouTube channels that are dedicated to pulling the rug out from under science’s feet, to blur the distinction between fact and fancy, and instil distrust towards the work of the scientific community. The undeniable success that those sites are having does show the need for improvement in science education in schools, and science communication in general.